Now I've written many blog posts in the past to do with my self-published books and recently one to announce ZA and it's arrival in the world, and it's got me thinking about how dreams warp and change as we do.
When I first started writing, my dream was to finish a book. Then a trilogy. Write five books. Write ten. Now I'm not sure I'll hit another goal until I've written twenty-five, fifty, a hundred. What I do know is that I won't stop setting them.
I'm one of those people who loves to set huge goals and then race towards them with little time for celebration once the end has been reached. I might have a tiny celebratory whoop with my hands in the air before I move straight onto the next thing. When I was fifteen and I wrote the final full stop of my first novel, I mourned for a few days and then asked myself, so what should I write next? The answer to that was, a book's not challenging enough, let's write a trilogy.
Then when I was in the midst of doing that, I decided the next thing was to get published. Of course, I got rejected over and over (who doesn't?), and now with that beautiful thing called hindsight, I know my books weren't ready. But that didn't stop me ploughing towards my goal. I self-published all three of the trilogy, which was exhausting and stressful and . . . well, either you know the joy and pain of the self-publishing world or you don't. Let's just say I had mixed feelings.
Boom, another dream realised.
So why wasn't I satisfied?
Here I am typing this now, co-director and editor-in-chief of Molten Publishing, and I think maybe I'm getting somewhere. Sharing my knowledge with people and going around talking about books seems to be giving me much more joy than these stupid targets ever did.
Don't get me wrong, writing is my ultimate passion, and there's nothing like writing--and finishing--a book, but now I'm a little older and a little wiser, and I know that dreams aren't always what they seem.
I have officially landed in the publishing world, and I'm so excited to see what everyone thinks of Zane and ZA. And this time, I'm making the most of it.
Here's hoping my little whoops get louder. Maybe next time you'll hear them . . .
ZA will be back in stock on Amazon in September! Watch this space! :) #ZAReady